Things have been crazy busy since Jesse got home a couple of weeks ago. I find that I don't get to sit down alot of days. Jesse came home on the 25th. He was the very last one off of the plane, as we expected. But, he got off the plane, and came up the back way with the Captain of the plane. LUCKY! haha. It was great to see him, and he's missing a front tooth.
In the days since he's been home, I've found he's lost all his manners, never had a bed time, and was given tons of sugar. WHY?! IT's been a little tough un-doing what someone else did. I'm not knocking John's parenting skills, but I think perhaps things should have been thought about a little more. I know it's hard to give your child a bed time when you don't see them for a year, but a child needs that structure.
Jesse was cleaning his room yesterday, which was a little shocking to me. So I went into his room, and we were talking. He told me he cleaned his room alot while at his dad's. So I said "oh why is that?" He then proceded to tell me, that his dad gets "mad" alot and he'd have to go to his room and shut the door so he didn't hear him yelling. That's pretty much all Jesse wanted to tell me. I'm not sure if he's blowing something out of proportion. I of all people knows how his dad gets "mad". Mad doesn't even begin to cover it. It worries me, and it took me back to when I was married.
We didn't get along. There was alot of emotional abuse. Name calling, screaming, holes in the wall type thing. I really hope and pray for the sake of my son, that it's not happening when he goes to visit. Jesse doesn't deserve something like that. So that leaves me with, What do I do? Nothing? Do I ask his dad? I mean, asking him is only going to provoke a fight and have him accuse me of trying to take Jesse away from him, or use him for money. Whatever. I really do lookout for what's in the best interest of Jesse. I don't want to take their relationship away. Jesse needs his dad, and he does love him, but when Jesse comes to me and tells me that his dad SCARES him. That scares me. And it only scares me because I know what I went through. I suppose only time will tell. For now, I'm stuck at a crossroad.
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Oh Steph, it makes me sad that you even have to think of this stuff. I'll be praying for your, the decisions you have to make and for Jesse. And John too. I really wish (like I did back then) that he'd have talked to someone about it. I've already warned Eric that he better be willing to do that if I think it's needed.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you!